I cant wait for the episode where John Goodman blows the vacation money paying off a porn star, Colbert said
Late-night hosts on Thursday discussed Donald Trumps appointment of White House physician Ronny Jackson as secretary of veterans affairs and Trumps comments on the success of the Roseanne reboot.
Today, the president was in Ohio talking about infrastructure, began Stephen Colbert. Check your calendars: it is always infrastructure week.
Colbert showed a clip of Trump extolling his favorite part of building: the smell of a construction site. I love it, its the smell of loans from my daddy and looming bankruptcy, the host joked. But again, this was an infrastructure rally, so naturally he talked about Roseanne.
In more footage from the speech, Trump praised the new season of Roseanne, in which Roseannes character is a Trump supporter. Look at her ratings! Trump yelled, referencing the 18 million people who tuned into the premiere. And it was about us!
I havent seen it yet, but Roseanne is about the Trumps? said Colbert. I cant wait for the episode where John Goodman blows the vacation money paying off a porn star.
Trump, at the same rally, bragged about the changes he made in the veterans affairs, explained the host, noting the dismissal of David Shulkin and appointment of Ronny Jackson.
One of the reasons that Shulkin lost his job is that he abused his travel privileges and was accused of lying about it, Colbert said, before examining Jacksons credentials for the job. Now, Im sure hes a good doctor. No reason to believe hes not. He was Obamas doctor, too. The VA is the second largest agency in our government, serving 22 million veterans. And Jackson is just some guy he met wearing a paper robe.
Evidently, Trump just hires people he sees around him, he concluded. We are one delivery away from having defense secretary Dominos guy.
Comedy Centrals Trevor Noah also addressed the personnel change at the VA.
Yesterday, President Trump tweet-announced that he was appointing the White House physician Adm Ronny Jackson to be the new secretary of veterans affairs, said the host. As with most Trump decisions, it seemed like this might be a very terrible, bad idea.
The host then showed various news clips in which commentators wondered if Jackson was unprepared, given that hes never managed a government agency before, let alone one as big as the VA.
Unprepared? They say this about every Trump person, Noah joked. They said the same thing about Trump and look, everythings going great.
In my opinion, anyone who has held Trumps scrotum while he coughs is prepared for anything in this world, Noah continued. This guy has probed deeper than even Robert Mueller has. But while fingering Donald Trumps prostate may sound like a joke, the veterans affairs department does not.
Noah then explained that the governments second-largest agency has a budget exceeding $200bn per year and over 360,000 employees.
Managing a $200bn a year organization is no small task, Noah said. Thats bigger than General Motors. Like, you wouldnt say, Yo, my friend Ralphies a great driver. I think he should run GM.
Noah concluded: But thats basically what Trump does. He wants his personal pilot to run the FAA. For Housing and Urban Development he was like: Yo, Ben Carson. Youre urban. You work. And now, for veterans affairs, Trump is like, Hes my doctor, hes a veteran, I have affairs. Its perfect.